Good News!!

I’M BACK~!!

the mission trip to Mambau, Seramban was amazing.

I know it’ll be a great experience, I just din noe it’ll be dat amazing

Throughout this entire trip, I felt God’s blessings in great abundance.

And I felt sooooo mmuch love…

Love from God

Love from the brothers and sisters in the mission trip

Love from the ppl in Mambau

and Love from Poppy.

While we brought GOOD NEWS to the ppl in Mambau,

I brought GOOD NEWS back as well

**I wanted to share this w u guys tmr, but I simply can’t wait!!**

Poppy received Christ on 18th Dec 09, 11.50am in Seramban

I almost cried when he ask me to turn to the page of Sinner’s Prayer and do it w him…

It was the moment I’ve been dreaming and praying abt for 2 years…

He’ll be having his baptism tmr in church

Ahhh~!!

I’m still busking in the joy of it

**Twirls ard and smiles to myself**

It really shows me God’s amazing power… And I can’t find the right words to express exactly how happy I am right now..

Really really thank God for his amazing work

And many thanks to those who have been praying for him and really concern abt him.

And to Jia Jun and Cheng Chang who spoke to him during the trip and helped to resolve some of the struggles that he had…

It’s great to see how Poppy has bonded w the guys during the trip and how involved he was in the entire process…

And I did the Sinner’s prayer w another girl from Mambau at the Christmas celebration.

It’s really great that we have the chance to bring God’s salvation to the ppl there and I hope that they have the opportunity to cont growing in their r/s w God…

I really have alot of thoughts and emotions about the mission trip, but I noe I cant express them well enuf thru words.

I just hope I can savor them for the time when I can still rmb them in my heart

**Just finish wrapping a little present for Poppy’s baptism tmr Gng to slp now and pray hard we won’t be late for his big day!!**

If You’re Not The One

Everytime I hear this song, it makes me wanna cry.

Coz it’s so sweet…

Every sentence so beautifully describes the love that one feels towards the person that he believes is the love of his life.

If you’re not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you’re not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call?
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all?

I never know what the future brings
But I know you’re here with me now
We’ll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don’t wanna run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don’t need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don’t need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you’re not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you’re not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don’t know why you’re so far away
But I know that this much is true
We’ll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I’m praying you’re the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I don’t wanna run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

‘Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
‘Cause I love you, whether it’s wrong or right
And though I can’t be with you tonight
You know my heart is by your side

I don’t wanna run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

In the sprit of LOVE.

“To love at all is to be vulnerable.

Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken.

If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal.

Wrap it carefully with hobbies and little luxuries;

Avoid all entanglements;

Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness.

But in that casket – safe, dark, motionless, airless – it will change.

It will not be broken;

It will become unbreakable, impenetrable, and irredeemable.

The only place outside of Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers of love is Hell.”

- C.S. Lewis

Live Like We’re Dying

Was listening to some new songs that I loaded into my iPod and heard this amazing song by Kris Allen.

It seems like everyday I’m getting a reminder to cherish what I have and show love to those ard me while I can.

There was Joel’s grandpa’s wake the previous week where the pastor shared with us about showing love to our loved ones while they are still ard and how unpredictable life can be.

Then it was the sermon on Sunday, where the Pastor was speaking about God’s call for us to love one another like how he love us, to show our concern for the ppl ard us while we can.

Then on Sunday night we visited Pop’s aunt who isn’t feeling very well and the news of it came so sudden that the family seemed rather lost and really really upset.

And on Monday, while walking to tuition, I heard this song and the lyrics got stuck in my head because it’s sending out the same msg…

Sometimes we fall down, Can’t get back up
We’re hidin’ behind skin that’s too tough
How come we dont say I love you enough
Til its too late…. its not too late

Our hearts are hungry for a food that won’t come
But we could make a feast from these crumbs
And we’re all starin’ down the barrel of a gun
So if your life flashed before you what would you wish you would have done

Gotta start

Looking at the hands of the time we been given
If this is all we got then we gotta start thinkin’
If every second counts on the clock thats tickin’
Gotta live like we’re dyin’
We only got 864 hundred seconds in a day
To turn it all around or to throw it all away
Gotta tell em that we love em while we got the chance to say
Gotta
Live like we’re dyin’

And if your plane fell out of the skies
Who would you call with your last goodbye
Should be so careful who we let fall out of our lives
Or when we long for absolution there’ll be no one on the line

You never know a good thing til its gone
You never see a crash til its head on
Wny do we think we’re right when we’re dead wrong
You never know a good thing til its gone

当你可以拥抱的时候，不要只是牵手。

Hey there, I LOVE YOU

Super Strength Me!

Sweet msged in the aftnn to tell me that he’s enjoying hightea w our mums.

And asked y am I so busy.

Obviously he thot I was having fun and partying my break away…

But NOOOOO~~~

And I told him exactly y I’m busy:

“3papers, 2quizzes, 2presentations, 10hrsoftuition, 8hrsofdriving, occasional CT affairs and currently a persistent running nose.”

oh yeah he sounded impressed haha

Maybe to some ppl, this is really no biggie, but my life haven been this hectic since I stopped dancing like months ago, and even then, I din think it was this “happening”!

Alot of things gng on and alot of things to achieve…

It makes me happy and keeps me motivated when I look at my new entry in my CLB:

What I picture myself to be in 5 years time.

I prayed for wisdom b4 I wrote it down, so I really hope they are all part of God’s plan for me

Writing down goals is never the tough part.

We write about our goals in a pretty book, daydream abt the joy and success we’ll be enjoying when we attain our goals and chuck the book right out of sight.

Only to read it 5 years ltr and ask, “why am I so far away from where I planned to be?”

It is remembering the hard work that we have to put in and the persistence we need to make it happen that isn’t easy.

Where do u wanna be in 5 years’ time? What are u going to achieve? Are u well on your way to your goals?

It’s never too late to have a goal,

It’s never too late to have a direction,

It’s never too late to start working for it.

If u start NOW

And all I can do now is to pray for strength and work my ass off, with a great deal of persistence

ok, I just popped a flu med and I’m gng to slp nw.I hope I dream Evo Psych so I can score well tmr :S

Unsettled…

It’s 1am and I’m just sitting infront of my comp.

Staring.

Can’t decide if I shld cont my (unfruitful) attempt on Religion paper, or print readings, or write a love letter or just go to slp.

In the end, I’m here typing a new blog post to express my unsettled feelings.

No idea y I’m feeling so unsettled.

Something is wrong…

Maybe there’s too many things going on.

Too many things incomplete.

Too many things due.

Too many issues.

Too many concerns.

Too many thoughts going through my mind.

Recently, I constantly find myself in a state of internal struggle…

In the middle of the day, I’ll be hoping for the day to end faster so that I can go home &  have a good rest, yet I can’t bear for the day to end so soon and I wanna cherish the moments in b/w coz they seem to slip by faster and faster each day.

But when I say I wanna cherish every moment, I feel like I’m passing though time in an empty state. In fact, s’times I can’t feel much and I don’t seem to enjoy all the little pleasures in life anymore… sounds like a case of apathy

Maybe I’m just tired.

Does it make sense?

I dunno. All I’ve learnt is that when we have mental conflicts, we feel anxious. And anxious is no good for our psychological health.

Even the things u say turns out jibberish (very much like now).

I wanna feel peace again…

I’m going to need a good chat with God…

in the GRAND scheme of things.

Was browsing thru photos from our US trip which I did not have time to upload onto FB.

And I think this is my fav photo

It’s grandeur is beyond words.

I just wish I could have spent a longer time there or get closer to it…

Bring your umbrella!

There was a downpour at ard 130pm today.

I was supposed to be at Jed’s house for tuition at 2pm, but when I was standing at the busstop (yes it’s sheltered) waiting for the bus, I got so drenched that I had to go home and change 1st.

I didn’t wanna go tuition dripping wet and get the boy sick as well just b4 his exams…

The rain was so freaking big I got drenched from head to toe again when I was OPENING MY HOUSE DOOR.

I showered and left the house clad in jacket and armed with a huge umbrella.

So I arrived 1 hr late and Jed asked me why I came so late, I explained to him that I got caught in the rain and had to go home 1st.

Tuition went rather well, and just b4 I left, he said (out of the blue),

“Next time when you go out must remember to bring umbrella ok?”

“OK.”

“EVERYDAY also must bring!”

“ok, ok….”
**thinks to self: naggy old man. But quite a sweet one **

Not nice.

In fact I thought I was quite evil…

Coz I “spoke very harshly” to poppy dis evening in front of my girls….

Over sth dat dun really seem v significant… but I’m just v agitated of hearing…

Ok lah, I think I shouted at him

So bad right… haiz.

I felt super guilty aft dat.

So I apologized to him and he was really angry over it as well…

Coz Poppy, though not exactly a mild-tempered person, has never raised his voice at me b4.

Much less in front of his friends.

He lectured me abit, but he also asked why I reacted in that way.

I explained and he said sorry too…

I think it’s really inevitable for couples to argue and to get into huge tiffs.

But what really matters is…

whether they have the patience to listen to one another,

the ability to communicate with one another abt the problem,

the heart to understand the other party’s point of view,

the willingness to trade pride and ego for sincere apologies and

the ever-loving heart to forgive and cont loving the other party.

Because thru arguments and emotional confrontations we learn more abt one another in our weakest and barest moments.

I must say that for this past 2 years, I am always very thankful that Poppy has been a really loving, giving and reasonable boyfren.

He almost never rejected my plea or requests for him to help me with anything. From school work, to being taken care of when I’m sick, from revamping my room, to fetching my friends home aft a long day out. As long as he is free, he’ll always do sth for me when I ask.

S’times, he did so much things for me that I’ll ask if he thot I was too dependent on him. But he never felt that way.

I don’t depend on him like I can’t live w/o him or can’t bear to have him out of my sight, we both have our own lives.

But I feel secure with him, knowing that he’ll be there for me when I need him.

Knowing that he will be there protecting me.

Knowing that I don’t have to hide things from him and can discuss anything with him.

Knowing that he’ll be supportive and encouraging.

Knowing that when I’m lost and depressed he can give me advices and remind me of the impt things in life that I can feel happy abt and look forward to.

Knowing that when we say sorry to each other and promise to treat each other better, these words come straight from the heart.

***Thanks for digging my ears Poppy!! hahahaha it felt super sweet***

I’m super tired now…. photo post soon I hope But this coming week may well be as busy as the last

update update… soon.

I still see alot of ppl checking back at my blog for updates.

And I sincerely do wanna update.

I’ve even got the photos collaged and ready to be uploaded…

But I dun quite have time to blog properly..

So here’s me leaving a few sentences worth of wad’s been on my mind lately…

1) Chaos’ Big Plan:

It feels so good to work hard on sth that u are passionate abt and so desperate for it to work out.

I’ve never felt like this for a long long time… It’s when u work w/o stopping and u DON”T feel like stopping and u just can’t seem to stop. And u just keep working with the end in mind, in wad u wanna achieve, in wad u are hoping will come to pass.

Esp when it’s sth new, sth that not everyone believe that it will work, sth that ppl qn and doubt because it seems so unlikely, almost impossible.

Then came this sentence from the Monday Morning Choices book that I’m reading:

“The man with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.” - Mark Twain

It was accompanied by the story of how FedEx became a huge success when NO ONE but the team believed that it can work when they 1st started on the plan.

I’m motivated and I’m so thankful for all the passion and faith that we have for this BABY of ours

2) Making things happen

I think I’ve never really been independent enough, and have pretty much been going with the flow.

I plan things, but I’m not consistent. I start, but I don’t always finish. And when time comes for the “results”, I’ll get disappointed, knowing that I cld have done better and achieved more, but didn’t put in enuf effort t. Or I’ll just “go with the flow” again and see wad other road I can take at that pt.

But now, I really wanna learn to make things happen.

Not  just dreaming, not just thinking, not just planning.

But doing.

Even the 1st step counts, the very action of overcoming the inertia, to set things going.

I’ve taken a few 1st steps over this hols. I have a couple more 1st steps that I wanna tk.

I hope I’ll be brave enuf and determined enuf to do so when the time comes

3) Sunday School

This has been bugging me for a long long time…

I’ve always wanted to start gng bk for Sunday school again, but I dunno y, even aft I made up my mind to go and remained determined for the entire week, I always end up skipping it.

Part of me really really wanna go bk, part of me was lazy, part of me thot it’s going to be awkward, part of me didn’t want to go in at the middle of a new course and feel lost, part of me was simply spiritually too weak to stand firm.

I prayed over it during my QTs this week, I asked God for help.

And today, ZW gave me a set of notes for nxt wk’s Sunday School, telling me that they have started a new course and a new way of going thru the scriptures.

B4 I left QB told me abt it again and reminded me to go if I can.

It’s amazing how God listens and always provide the opportunities, help and guidance that I needed to make it thru sth..

So going bk to Sunday School will be the nxt 1st step tha I wanna tk

Aft I do it, it’ll be one step closer to a tighter r/s with God <3

4) 2 years of LOVE

Our 2 yrs is just a mth away!!

Yes, let me lament again, “HOW TIME FLIES!!”

Smarty poke me has no one else to blame but myself for choosing such an inconvenient date for our anniversaries.

National Day.

There’s ppl everywhr, cars everywhr, flags everywhr and NTH for us to do

BUT that also helps to try and think out of the box for our plans that day

Last yr we had a simple, cosy and national-dayish celebration. Which is special considering we celebrated almost all our monthsaries religiously…

This yr, I was hoping it can be a little more special and exciting since we didn’t cele our monthsaries as often..

Plus, we’ve been spending really little quality time tgt… So I thot we deserve to have a day to ourselves alone, simply to soak in the joy and love of each another

We were cracking our heads over wad to do for this coming anni… and I think I just got an idea

I hope it works!! Now I just need to fret over wad to get 4 poppy. With the limited financial input I’m entitled to.

4) My BLOODY HP

And the most sucky of all things:

My hp is slow, old and retarded. Really.

It hangs, auto shut dwn, and auto restart when…

- I msg too fast

- A new msg comes in when I’m trying to type a msg

- I happen to receive more than 1 call at a time

- I press the button too fast

- It’s unhappy

- It feels like shutting dwn

- It simply wants to piss me off.

Is this a test of patiences too?? I think I just failed.

OK that’s it, I’m stopping here. the few sentences have just turned into few paragraphs.

But on the account that I haven’t really been ranting, I needed to let out some steam lah…

BTT tmr. I sure hope i nail it man!!

But I’m feeling sluggish and feverish right now. Must be all the late-nights and heaty suppers

Pls dun fall sick plssssssss….

3 tiers of happiness :D

The day started at 10.49am when I received Poppy’s call.

I was supposed to wake up at 8 and give him a morning call at 9.

I guess we both overslept

So in the end, we met at noon and we realised we both happened to be wearing bright barbie pink

Headed to the east for Novena’s warehouse sale…

It was ultra disappointing.. And of coz, I din managed to find anything close to wad I want…

But I really like the super big chair at the entrance

We traveled quite a dist in the car, dropping by at Royal Sporting House outlet and Pacific Bldg…

Hungry and disappointed with our progress thus far, we stopped for our fav Fei Fei wanton mee at Joo Chiat…

Love the soup! haha

Aft dat we went to EastPt Mall to source for mini whiteboard and to buy Boy Boy’s treats.

There was a cat fair at the atrium and we saw this HUMONGOUS fat cat!!

Totally obese…

we went to Courts first coz they are having some Mega Sale.

We went ard trying their DSLR, Sofa set, beds, chairs….

And of coz we din buy anything

But in the process, I’ve proven my pt that HIGH BEDS (esp those that’s so high u need to climb into it) are so much more comfy than LOW BEDS. Yes, I win

Went back to Ikea with hope that the work station will be on sale…

but NOOOOOO…..

It is still at full price

But it was really really ideal for my space… So I bought it

(oh, with the money from Mr Lee’s Ang Bao )

The box of stuff was really long and heavy…

Probably 30kg. At Least.

We almost thot it will not fit into Jazzy and I’ll nd to pay another $50 to get it delivered

But Amazing Jazzy and Amazing Poppy managed to get it to fit right in!!

I was over the moon I tell you!!

That’s $50 saved! and so I treated poppy to din din

At Sake Teppanyaki…

Yes, the set even came with dessert

I was damn full by the time we’re done…

But Poppy wanted to eat MORE!

So we went to cartel for dessert…

Ok… Soup of the day, free flow bread and wings are nowhr close to dessert… But I think s’one really spent quite alot of energy during the day

Reached home ard 1130 and Poppy helped me to set up my new space

As mentioned b4, I removed the desktop ystday so today I just had to move the comp desk away

Look at the mess I made

And the 2 most beloved man of my life spent the next half and hr in the hot simmering weather, helping me to fix the table up…

DONE!!

I do believe that all their love for me can be seen in the amt of sweat they shed…

Ok, yucky… but really really sweet when I look at them

Poppy cont to helped me set up my stuff and did a wonderful job of keeping the wires neat and out of sight!

I can even put papers and my laptop sleeve in the cable compartment

And now I can finally have a big enuf space to use my laptop (comfortably), have a book for reference and tk notes at the same time!!

But it wasn’t all that smooth-sailing…

When they were getting the desk into the space, it looks as if it will not fit!

Coz I measured the top part and there were still a few inches of space, but I forgot there was a ledge on the floor!

Luckily, Poppy managed to get it to fit JUST NICE. If not I really dunno wad to do with it

He even improvised a “stress reliever” to reduce the stress on the middle section of the desk just in case the bottom is too tight…

Smarty pop~~

He left ard 2+ and I sat down to enjoy my new work space…

The 3-tier design is giving me lots of space to put my books and file for the new semester too

I feel happy just using it…

Not only because it’s sth that I wanted, but because it reminds me of:

1) Mummy walking ard with a cloth wiping what ever things that have dust on it

2) Daddy being a really great help with the fixing, moving and clearing

3) Poppy for being there thru-out this whole process, from brainstorming, to choosing, to searching to purchasing, to transporting, to fixing, to perfecting…

My 3-tiers of Love and Happiness! <3

The Flu Scare

Before I went to the US, ppl have been WARNING me abt the flu.

Asking me not to go, hinting that I’d probably die if I go.

Thank goodness we din back out of the trip and waste that thousand over dollars on airtix.

If not I’d really feel like dying now.

And I went ahead with the trip NOT simply because I can’t bear to forfeit that $1000+, but because I have been doing my “homework” on the flu and asking friends for updates on the conditions in US and felt that it was actually ok to go. Plus, we have been responsible travellers.

Then when I came back, I was flooded with these:

“You went overseas?”

“Where did you go?”

“US?!”

“How long have you been back?”

“Did you self-quarantine?”

“Are you sick?”

“Did you have fever / cough / running nose / sore-throat (lists all flu symptoms)?”

“Are you a carrier?”

“Will it spread?!”

Yes, I know some of you are genuinely concerned…

But I’d seriously prefer to tell you abt the trip than repeat for the 100th time:

“I’m ok, no symptoms of flu, back for 2 wks, self-quarantined for 1 wk aft I’m back, I dunno if I’m a carrier (but u make me sound like I have HIV or sth), and it spreads like the USUAL flu. Thank you. And I had fun, in case u’re actually interested “

I know the flu sounds terrible…

People have died from it (but not purely BECAUSE of it) and it’s spreading really fast…

But this is a flu with a special name (was termed Swine Flu because it originated from pigs, and is now termed Novel H1N1 because it’s spreading b/w humans), has medication, has similar symptoms with Seasonal Flu, most ppl who died from H1N1 had other more serious illnesses to start with and its status is raised to that of a pandemic not because of the severity but the spread of the virus.

And if I’m not wrong, even seasonal flu doesn’t have a cure, only medications for its symptoms.

And there were also deaths due to extreme cases of seasonal flu.

I’m not trying to say that H1N1 is the SAME as seasonal flu, neither am I trying to say that we should forgo all efforts in mitigating its spread.

I just think that we should not let it handicap our society’s ability to function properly and efficiently.

And if you are truly concerned (and scared to death by this flu), it’s probably a good idea (and about time) to check out information on it like what is it exactly, its symptoms, how it spreads (and dun spread), preventive measures that should be taken and its current status now (speaking of which, Sg has recently made the transition from containment to mitigation phase. which is probably a much better measure, looking at all the shortage in man-power everywhr).

AND it’s the flu season right now, it’s also the durian season. So for those who are down with the flu, do drink more water, rest well and see a doctor if you need to. Other ppl can just give them a break with the -”OMG do u have H1N1?!”- thing.

Never Can Say Goodbye.

Woke up to 3 sms-es and a phone call telling me that MJ has passed away.

And I was still waiting for his come-back when he mentioned it months ago…

Gone too soon…. It says everything that I’m sure many wanna say abt his death.

But his songs, his voice, his dance, his moves, the memories he left behind….

Never Can Say Goodbye.

Unsettling Goodbye

While talking to shammy ystday morning, she suddenly brought up the name Elisha.

And my mind filled with the happy moments that MIX had at Gotham few mths ago, coz we entered under the invitation of Peggy’s fren, Elisha (a very very goodlooking guy, while I’m at it).

Then the nxt sentence came:

“He passed away. Suicide.”

There’s an article in the papers, but I cant bring myself to read it…

While no one really close to me has chosen to end their life, he is def not the 1st one I noe that has commited suicide.

When I was doing Abnormal Psych last sem, there was this particular topic on Depression and Suicide.

I guess it’s high time I share these info with u guys (all taken from PL3236 notes):

MYTHS ABOUT SUICIDE:

1) “There are no warning signs”

- Most people do tell others of their intentions (up to 70%), therefore all remarks about suicide should be taken seriously

2) “Faked” suicide attempts are about getting attention and not serious”

- Many people accidentally kill themselves while they are at it

3) “Talking with someone about suicidal ideation will increase likelihood someone will kill themselves”

- Talking is likely to prevent a suicide attempt

- Useful for gauging severity of threat

- Contract can prevent suicide (eg, asking a person to promise to call u if they ever feel depressed or is thinking about suicide again)

4) “Suicidal people want to die”

- Many people are grateful when s’one actually helped them to prevent a suicide attempt

WARNING SIGNS:

- Low mood / depression (note: risk of suicide may be greatest as the depression lifts because it’s only then that a person has the energy and will to plan and carry out the attempt)

- Hopelessness

- Suicidal ideas / remarks

- Well thought out plans

WHAT TO DO:

- Do something – don’t ignore

- Talk about it with the person

- Contact a GP

- Contact a psychiatrist or psychologist

I guess we may not be able to stop everyone who want to commit suicide from taking their lives, but at least we can spot them and do sth for them b4 anything happens…

There may be alot of ppl who deeply care for them, but they may not have realised how precious they are to the ppl ard…

Life is really precious, it’s God’s amazing gift to us, and I really hope that everyone can cherish evey single moment of it because He has great plans for all of us…

“For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord.

They are plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

- Jeremiah 29:11

happy, shalala~~

Ahhh~!! I’m gonna have sweet sweet dreams tonight.

No… actually I’m too excited to sleep

Although they were laughing their heads off when I 1st appeared in my mask -_-

But I noe Ryan still loves meeeee